One Good Apple

You’ve probably heard this expression:  “one bad apple ruins the whole barrel”.  It’s one of those old adages we share with our children as a warning about “those bad apples” in their group of friends.

For apples (and many other fruits), this is because an over-ripe or rotten fruit produces more ethylene, which causes the surrounding fruits to ripen at an extremely rapid rate.  Apparently mold works similarly, and moves from one moldy piece of food to a good one, looking for new food sources.  (more on this)

When it comes to people, though, is this really true?  Are “bad apples”, or troubled people really infections in their own way?  Well, maybe.  Jim Rohn said “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”.  This sounds like another of those trite ‘parent’ things, but perhaps there’s some truth to this.

Consider the people around you.  Are they busy?  Depressed?  Good listeners?  Encouraging?  How look at yourself.  How are you when you’re with those people?  How do you feel, how do you respond?  Do you feel surges of activity, depression, quiet, or encouragement?  I know my answer is typically a yes – yours may be as well.

Why is this, though?  After all, I’m me.  I have my own patterns and thoughts, my own ways of being – and these do vary from day to day.  I believe a great deal of this is like the apple.  We as humans seem to give off some kind of primal pheromone that conveys our feelings to those around us.  And, of course, we sense the emissions of those to whom we’re close. 

There are some positives to this insidious influence:  by knowing and understanding the way we’re affected by those around us, we have a degree of control in shaping ourselves.  I particularly enjoy connecting with people from diverse backgrounds – people from other countries, or those with a different personal/religious history or disparate life experiences from my own.  Why?  I love to learn.  First and foremost – selfishly – it’s interesting to understanding an alternate life experience.  It also often makes me grateful that while I’ve had some challenges in my life, there are so many bigger problems in the world which I’ve never had to experience.  There’s another bonus to this in my opinion, though.  When I connect with people who aren’t like me, I being to understand them – their history, their perspective, and their struggles.  And it’s my hope that helps to make me a kinder, more open, more understanding and tolerant person.

There are so many people in our world, and they come from so many places – physically, emotionally, and philosophically.  Get to know them.  Be kind.  Listen.  Perhaps there’s someone out there who will contribute to you becoming the new best version of your self!  And yes, be sure to watch for those who bring out the worst in you as well.