The Push

We live in strange times.  It’s ok to take some time out and rest, rather than doing the things you thought you’d be doing.  You should be using this time productively. 

All of these messages are true and valid.  They’re also contradictory, because different things are right for different people at different times.  That’s certainly true for me!

Over the last few weeks, I’ve spent a lot of time simply “filling time”.  Not because I didn’t have things to do.  I have lots of things to do.  There are things I should do, things I could do, and things I want to do. 

However, instead of doing most of these, I was spending time watching Netflix, playing a stupid game on my iPad, or sleeping in.   Understand, none of those things are bad.  It’s ok for me (and you!) to stop and chill as needed, and sometimes what’s most needed is what I consider a “brainless day”. 

But of late, I’ve felt like I had too many of those.  I got the most critical things done.  My course assignments were handed in.  I was properly prepared for the meetings I was in and classes I was teaching.  I didn’t miss anything that was scheduled.  But the rest of the time, I’ve felt – and been – pretty out of it.  The most important aspect of that feeling is that while it wasn’t a feeling about which I was about, it also wasn’t something on which I was acting.  There was plenty more I wanted to be doing.  I just wasn’t doing it.

The most unusual part of this was that I wasn’t sure why.  It’s unlike me to be so sedentary, but I’ve probably had more passive screen time in the last month than in the last decade combined.  And no, we’re not talking interesting documentaries, either.  While I was working on “letting myself just be”, I wasn’t fully content with that. 

Enter a couple of good friends.  (I’m blessed with so many of these!)  Earlier this week, one friend came over for a distance visit and chat as we’re still in restricted contact where I live.  We had a great conversation catching up, but one of the most productive parts of this for me is that she’s great at pushing my buttons – in all the right ways.  She asked that important question – what is the next thing you need to do to get this moving, and when I answered, she pushed me to actually do that while she stood there.  Since I knew she had a timeline to be somewhere else, it was a really effective means of getting me to act.  I did, and thanked her. 

Later that afternoon, I had some distance pool time during what felt like the hottest day of a heat wave here.  My friend – like me – is also in process of starting a new business. The big difference here is that she’s put a lot more action into hers since January and is starting to see some well-deserved results.  She shared some of her successes and ideas with me, and I was able to offer her a couple of thoughts to continue building on that.  But most helpful for me was the fact that she also pushed some buttons for me, and encouraged me to do more on building my own business. It’s really the biggest part of where I’ve been procrastinating.

What’s the big point here?  As ever, there are a few facets to this.  Getting things done is awesome.  Taking time for yourself is important.  Balancing these is also key, and by the time you’ve had plenty of “down time” and are starting to beat yourself up, it’s a real gift when you have a couple of friends who push you in the right direction and make you move.  If you’re reading this post, you know who you are.  Thank you!

And if you’re reading this post and want to be a part of the first steps in my new business, check out the free Confidence Through Speaking workshop on July 16^th.