Unexpected Blessings


Maybe I had the right idea after all.

When I was 18, I thought I might buy a wartime home around Yonge & Sheppard, rent out the basement as an apartment, build equity.  Take my boss up on his offer to send me to law school.  Stay single, and just connect with people as I wanted to.  

Before I turned 20, I was married, and by 25 I had three children.  It seemed to just “happen” and while decisions I made were certainly a part of that process, I felt as though I was just carried along with it. 

What I didn’t seem to have in my life was control over what was going on.  Things just “happened”, and I went along with it. 

Why?  I’ve asked myself this question a few times, and best answer I’ve come up with is that I didn’t have strong feelings about what I wanted, and that I felt I didn’t have the right to control my own life.  Obviously, I was wrong about the latter – we all have the right to control our own life.  I just didn’t realize it, or take action on it. 


I’ve gained much in my life through those unplanned choices – children who I love dearly (well, most days), lessons which probably wouldn’t have come my way otherwise, and strength developed through those lessons.  I’m grateful for all of those. 

Do you ever wonder how things might be different if you’d taken another road?  It’s certainly a question that wanders into my mind from time to time.  

What did I really miss in the choice I didn’t make?  If I look at that loose plan above, I missed control.  Autonomy.  The feeling that I was making my own choices and building my own world.  With grown children now, I could also say I have all of those things.  Ok, not the equity or the law degree.  But I do have control – over my life, over my actions, over my choices.  I do have autonomy to do and be the person I wish.  I do have the ability to connect with people as I want to. 


Perhaps I got the best of both worlds after all.  And with the lessons I learned in the path to this place, I can better appreciate it.  What unexpected blessings have you found in your journey?

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