In the Fall

Have you ever noticed that the ease of forgiving seems pretty subjective? It varies so much on the what, the who, the why. As with so many lessons, I’m reminded of a story. My youngest son was about 5 years old. And, like most children of that age, he had something special. In his case, it was “Soft”. Soft was a double-sided flannel receiving blanket made years before by my grandmother for my oldest son. It passed through two children before its bond with my youngest son, who gave it even more love than my grandmother had put into it.

Soft was life. It went to school, folded in the bottom of his backpack. It slept with him. It was dragged around the house, went to sleepovers, and was rarely far from his side. His other pride and joy around that time was a hamster. This was a well-loved hamster – the kind that’s handled often, comes readily to a hand in the cage, and doesn’t bite or nip. The hamster lived in a cage at the end of his bed. You can probably see where this is going… right?

One day, Soft was left on the bed. At the end of the bed. And the hamster, as hamsters do, chewed Soft. We’re not talking a small nibble or two in a small space here. Of a 36”x36” blanket, probably a full square foot had tiny nibbles all over it. Roughly one every square inch on both sides. (maybe more). There was no chance I could mend every one of those tiny holes and expect them to hold well – particularly with the frequency with which Soft needed washing. When I found Soft and removed it from the hamster, I feared the worst. My youngest son would be furious, crushed, probably both. In fact, he wasn’t. I was shocked. But he quietly looked at Soft, and at the hamster, and said “Hamsters chew things. He didn’t know he shouldn’t chew Soft.” Once I wiped the tears of pride in my son’s response, we looked at Soft. It became a rather oddly shaped 5-sided polygon once that the chewed area was removed, but my son loved it no less.

Soft now resides with my son and his fiancé in their apartment. So what happened? My son loved the hamster. He loved Soft. His love for the hamster – and genuine care for the hamster’s nature – gave him the gift of understanding. It gave him the gift of forgiveness. The foundation was love and understanding. It made all the difference. What difference would we all make if we focused on those?