The Real Image

Do you ever think about your image?  Do you do things in an intentional way so as to influence others’ perceptions of you?

I’ve only recently begun doing this occasionally, having rarely done so before.  The reason?  I figure if I’m in a visible position where people where others may consider my behaviour as an example, I want it to be a good one. 

My earliest memory of image goes back to my early teen years, as a young (sleepover) camp counselor.  I’d just turned fourteen, and another girl about a year older than I were co-counselors to a cabin of about ten 8-year old girls.  Let’s call my counterpart Sue – it’s much shorter than “my co-counselor”. On the afternoon I remember, one of the girls was sick and needed to go to the infirmary.  The camp’s property wasn’t enormous and the infirmary not far away in my opinion.

To get a good perspective on this, you need to have a clear picture of me at fourteen.  I was a little over 5’ tall, and might have weighed as much as 100lbs.  Sue, of similar age, was likely done growing, and was probably 5’6” or so at about 140lbs.  I looked like a scrawny kind.  She looked more like an adult.  There was another difference, too … she was interested in the male counselors.  As more than just counselors.  I had barely registered that as an option.

Back to our sick camper.  I looked at the infirmary’s location and at the skinny sick 8-year old in front of me.  She might have weighed 60lbs at most.  Sue had gone to fetch one of the male counselors to carry the camper.  I hadn’t worked out why, as she looked well able to carry her.  However, in Sue’s absence, I simply picked up the camper without much difficulty and started off to the infirmary.  I was about 100’ from our cabin when Sue showed up with one of the larger male counselors, and she was FURIOUS with me.

I graciously allowed the male counselor to then carry the young camper to the infirmary, with Sue following him like a puppy.  The camper’s illness wasn’t serious, and she was soon back in our cabin.

I hadn’t yet faced Sue’s wrath, though.  I had no idea why she was so angry with me.  If she wasn’t able to carry the camper, that was ok – I wasn’t judging her for that – but I was, and I couldn’t understand the need to go and get one of the boys for help we didn’t need.  I don’t recall her explanation at the time, though she tried.  I still, however, didn’t fully get it.  Why wouldn’t I do something of which I was capable?  Why pretend to be weak and helpless. 

You’ve probably worked out what I hadn’t at that point (yes, I have now).  Sue wanted to impress the boys with how strong they were compared to her weak frailty.  I thought it was phony then, and to be frank, I still do.

Sue and I didn’t really click, and never kept in touch after that summer.  And while I now understand her motivation, I still don’t really “get” it.  Why would you want to make someone like you for who you’re not?

Today’s lesson is one I continue to apply in my own life – some days, that’s pretty easy, and others not so much so.  One of my favourite quotes on my current vision board fits this well:  “At some point you may have to admit that you’re already awesome.  Why not now?”  Or, in a quote attributed to Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken”.  Go out and be your awesome self today, just as you are.  I’m awesome – and you are too!