Gratitude and Obligation


We hear so much about it – gratitude days, gratitude journals, gratitude pages. 

It’s certainly not that I think any of this is bad.  It’s not!  Seeing and appreciating what’s around you is always good.  But please – make it real.  I worry sometimes that people simply jump on bandwagons like this to look good (ok – some, not all!) or because it’s the trendy thing.  If/when you’re expressing gratitude for something, feel it!

One of the things I gave up many years ago was the proscribed giving of gifts on holidays.  I heard so many people talking about one-upping each other – or even themselves – at a holiday.  Things like “we gave Mom and Dad a dishwasher last year, we need to get them the washer/dryer this year”.  As a struggling single parent at the time, my first thought was who the heck does that?  My next was a little more selfish, and went along the lines of I’m over here and could really use some help!  One person even commented that she “didn’t know how she could do Christmas” without $10,000 to spend on ONE CHILD.  I was flabbergasted, to say the least.  But she considered that normal, right, and necessary. I’m not sure I spent that much money on three children’s gifts over a ten-year period!  But as I saw yearly new MacBooks and so many gifts “for the sake of”, I got turned off.

It was definitely easier to shut off the “because…holiday” gifts when I couldn’t afford them.  In fact, it was easier to shut off the whole “obligation” thing in general.  There were, after all, plenty of things that I simply COULDN’T do – because I was working all the hours I could get, because we were living on the poverty line, because I simply didn’t have the inner strength to let them be a priority.


Many years later, I’m still a little amazed at how freeing this was.  And sixteen years later, I still haven’t picked up most of those obligations.  They can stay gone.  The one thing I have done is to express my appreciation.  As I mentioned in It All Starts With a Pebble earlier this week, I’ve made a point of letting the people around me know that I appreciate them, that they’re important to me.  I’ve also started a little tradition of my own – when I see something that reminds me of that person, I buy it for them, and give it to them.  Just because.  Sometimes, I’m inspired to make them something instead, and that’s also a fun way for me to show them they matter to me.


The lesson today is a simple one.  It’s Thanksgiving Sunday here in Canada, and I’m thankful for you, dear reader.  I’m thankful for so many people and so many things.  I’ve messaged with a couple of special ones over the last day or two and may contact a few more tomorrow.  Be thankful – sincerely.  And say so out of gratitude, not obligation.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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