Where's Your Mirror?

There are people who enjoy looking in mirrors.  In fact, if the volume of selfies on my Facebook news feed is any indication, there are a lot of them.  I’m not one.  My selfies exist only so my daughter can comment on my wardrobe choices, and they’re few and far between.  These photos NEVER make it to Facebook (or anywhere else).

There’s key bonus to all of these selfies, and to the whole mirror concept, though.  I often say that we perceive through the lens of our own experience.  That applies to ourselves as well – both inside and out.  And by sharing themselves with the world-at-large, these brave souls have the opportunity to receive feedback.  In my grown-up universe, that’s largely positive – or it is within the public comments. 

So the reward for selfies is acclamation?  It looks that way in my universe.  I’m still not about to become a keen selfie-shooter, though. 

Now, the mirror.  It’s a whole different kind of reflection than that we receive from others.  If you’re anything like me, the mirror is where you’re hard on yourself.  Where you look at what you can fix or maximize.  At how to make yourself better.  There’s a positive to that on the self-improvement side of things.  But if you’re using the mirror as a tool to beat yourself up, the selfie world might be a better one for you!

I’ve struggled with the mirror for a long time.  I’m not hideously ugly, but I typically describe my looks as average or boring.   Some around me might agree.  Some might not.  That’s ok.  I am learning to be kinder to my mirror-self – after all, she’s got a busy job trying to hold the rest of me in.

What about a mirror of your thoughts?  Your personality?  Your actions?  I believe that’s where accountability really comes in.  How we think affects so many parts of life, from physical and mental health to the way we interact with those around us.  Are your thoughts and actions reflecting what’s important to you?  Are they building you up, or supporting those around you?  Or do you let them break you down?  (I can admit that I’m sometimes guilty of this).

This is where the mirror really comes in for me.  Not the shiny one that hangs in my bathroom.  But the one I find in trusted friends – those people on whom I rely to call me on self-negativity, or an action that didn’t come across in the way I intended.  That kind of trust-mirror is the most valuable one I know.  They provide me with an accountability measure that’s different from my own.

What are you reflecting?  If you’re not sure, maybe this is a good time to ask those around you – not just for comments on your selfie, but for their thoughts on what they most love about you.  You might hear some things that really brighten your day!