Life Lessons from Little Things

Have you ever noticed that when most people approach change – or even the thought of it – their immediate perception is a negative one?   It’s as though they assume (dangerous word!) that change is automatically bad, something they don’t want.   Sometimes, though, that’s not the case.   While we may approach change with the fear of the unknown, what it holds for us may be good, desirable, and even rewarding!   (Yes, really.) Even though I keep learning this first-hand, it IS still something of which I occasionally need to remind myself.   Take cookies, for example.   Cookies, you say?   Who would change anything about cookies?   They’re yummy, easy to make or buy, and an amazing comfort food for those evening when life just has you down in the dumps.   I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s gobble down a whole bag of Oreos with some wine (or your own preferred beverage). Unfortunately, there are times in our life where choic...

I’ve always found it interesting how we change as we go through life – without really trying.   We change in response to trials and tribulations, to good times, to jobs and friends and family and more. The people who are around us change, too, in two ways.   The people who are around us and remain around us change in response to our changes, as we do in response to theirs.   In addition, the people who are around us change – some stay, and some go, because the dynamic between you no longer fits.   That’s ok. This has been on my mind a lot lately because of my old girl, Dusty.   (If you haven’t yet “met” Dusty, go check out “ Welcome, and Introduction to Pets ” where she’s introduced) When Dusty came to me as a 6-week old kitten, she already had a well-developed personality.   She was smart and secretive, independent, a great hunter, and occasionally playful.   Earning her trust was work, but I did it. As she matured, she claimed her p...

Do you ever think about your image?  Do you do things in an intentional way so as to influence others’ perceptions of you? I’ve only recently begun doing this occasionally, having rarely done so before.  The reason?  I figure if I’m in a visible position where people where others may consider my behaviour as an example, I want it to be a good one.  My earliest memory of image goes back to my early teen years, as a young (sleepover) camp counselor.  I’d just turned fourteen, and another girl about a year older than I were co-counselors to a cabin of about ten 8-year old girls.  Let’s call my counterpart Sue – it’s much shorter than “my co-counselor”. On the afternoon I remember, one of the girls was sick and needed to go to the infirmary.  The camp’s property wasn’t enormous and the infirmary not far away in my opinion. To get a good perspective on this, you need to have a clear picture of me at fourteen.  I was a little over ...

Pride has such a bad rap, doesn’t it?  In the Bible, the Torah, the Quran (and probably other religious texts), it’s all negative.  Don’t be proud, be humble.  Reading this, one could easily interpret that recognizing your own achievement – or being recognized for it – was a terrible thing. Doesn’t that break down some of the joy of achievement?   I certainly don’t strive for achievement only for recognition – I enjoy the learning, the journey, the opportunities, and the results which may benefit others or myself.   But yes, I also enjoy the recognition. In my experience and observation, confidence in yourself and your achievements is an area where we (as a North American society, anyways) haven’t really excelled in the past hundred years or so.   Yes, there are exceptions.   But I feel like we’ve been so overshadowed by the negativity of being proud that most of us never gave ourselves permission to be proud of anything.   Proud of othe...

Have you ever noticed little things you do in your life now – unconsciously – because of a past experience?   I know I do. When I forcefully separated from my first husband, the polite description would be that he didn’t take it well.   And after this, he seemed to spend a lot of time just hanging out where he could watch places that I happened to be.   Like the bottom of my street, all night.   For years, there were cars driving by (it’s hard to hide when you have a personalized license plate), following me, or going up and down my street.   I felt like I spent all my time looking over my shoulder. That wasn’t the beginning, of course – before the “forceful separation”, he’d come home from work and hunt around for evidence of things I’d done during the day.   I’m not sure what he thought might go on with three toddlers in the house, but in case that’s something you haven’t experienced personally, let me tell you – it’s hard to do much ...

Have you ever watched someone’s behaviour and wondered how they can possibly think that what they’re doing is ok?  Perhaps you’ve wondered this about your own actions – I know I have.  For me, that’s usually a good clue that I should reconsider what I’m doing.  Merriam-Webster defines integrity as: -    “firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values;           --    an unimpaired condition;           --      the quality or state of being complete or undivided” While the second and third definitions appear to relate more to items – something which is complete, or undamaged, I believe the whole definition also relates to our behaviour and the way we live. We all have a moral code.   I’ll admit that I wonder about those to which some people adhere as they certainly don’t seem to match with my own standards.   But even someone of...

Do you have a favourite tree or plant?   I’m no gardener – plants tend to die when they see me coming – but one thing I truly love is magnolia trees.   Here in Canada , they don’t much resemble what my friends in the southern US states would call magnolias, but they’re still lovely and beautiful for their short season.   I’ve been fortunate to enjoy these trees in my own yard in both our previous home and our current one.  Nearly ten years ago, it was an incredibly happy day in my life when I realized that our new home included a lovely little magnolia tree.  It wasn’t the type you typically see in our area – creamy blossoms with pink hearts – but a darker plum-coloured version which I’ve never seen elsewhere.  It wasn’t readily visible from our window on this larger property, but I went to visit it often and eagerly awaited its blooms each spring. A year or so later, my honey brought home a wonderful gift in early spring – a lovely...

How do you feel when you encounter unexpected circumstances in your life?  Certainly the current situation is among the “unexpected” for most of us, but I know it’s far from the only one I’ve encountered.  Some of these are funny, some frustrating or stressful, and others simply weird.  But that great commonality they all share?  We can learn from them! One of the most amusing examples I have of the unexpected is one I wish I’d caught on video all those years ago.   This goes back about 15 years, when all of my cats were young and one who’d snuck out had recently had a litter of kittens. As all kittens are, these were tiny and adorable, and they’d just gotten to the stage where they wandered around the house.   The adult cats – other than their mother – still didn’t really know what to make of these small aliens, but for the most part treated them with equanimity.   Sambuca (“Sam”) – littermate to the kittens’ mom – was no exception....

The first speech in Toastmasters is called the Icebreaker.   It’s meant to do just that – to “break the ice” both in getting up in front of people to speak, and in introducing yourself to the group.   Mine was called “Continuous Improvement”, as this seems to be the byline of my life. I remember my mother describing things I didn’t like as “opportunities to grow" - I responded once in my teen years that “I’m tired of opportunities to grow, I’d like to stagnate, thanks”.   (typical teen attitude!  at least for me) However, there's one thing I have learned:   the opposite of success isn’t failure, it’s complacency.   Don’t stagnate.    (note, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t rest!   More later) It sounds like such a terrible word, doesn’t it?   But complacency comes disguised in so many ways, from “I’ve always done it this way” to “don’t fix it if it’s not broken”.   While I’d agree that there are a few things in ...

Do you ever find yourself randomly remembering little things from years gone by?   I don’t mean the big things like major life events.   I mean the quirky little bits which don’t seem to have any real purpose.   Do you ever wonder if those little things perhaps had a purpose after all? Case in point: I was a lonely elementary school student.   A too-smart introvert, I didn’t make friends easily and had no idea why.   Skipping a grade in school didn’t ease that situation, though it did make it easier for me to self-isolate within my classroom.   For the most part, the kids around me weren’t unkind, they just didn’t know what to do with me.   I didn’t either. My grade five teacher was one of those warm and inclusive people who worked to make everyone feel involved.   There were ways in which she wouldn’t succeed – I still finished my work far too early and went off to volunteer in the kindergarten class or help in the library several t...