Life Lessons from Little Things

I’ll never forget the day my 17-year-old daughter came home to tell me how much fun it was to bungee-jump at Canada ’s Wonderland. Parents, you can probably imagine my reaction:   Bungee-jump??   How the heck did you go bungee jumping?? Don’t you need a parent’s signature for that? It turns out the answer was yes.   A parent’s signature WAS needed.   But as I wasn’t present at this excursion, her friends’ mom – who was – signed for her.   The theory was simple – she was allowing her child of the same age to do it, and felt it was ok for my child to do so as well. Fortunately for all concerned, this was a parent whose thinking and judgment were similar to my own, and I agreed that, had I been present, I probably would have (reluctantly) allowed this.   It wasn’t an issue I pursued further, or one I considered a problem - then, or now. This did, though, get me thinking.   If you had asked me previously if I blindly trusted this parent to make app...

  Autocorrect:   the implication that your phone/tablet/computer/other device knows what you’re trying to say.   Better than you do. Ah, autocorrect.   Bane of my existence.   And yet, occasional friend. Yes, I can admit it.   There ARE times where this friend/fiend has jumped in and fixed things I was trying to say.   This happens most often when my oversized fingers are attempting to type on my iPhone.   On those relatively rare occasions, I’m grateful for it. But the rest of the time – oh, the rest of the time!   I vividly recall dictating a message of moderate length to my boss when I worked in construction.   My dictation ran something like this: “So, we should meet up and talk about the eavestrough for that townhouse complex.   I’m a little concerned about access in some areas.” Autocorrect – in its unfathomable wisdom – interpreted my dictation thus: “I’m going to the mall, and I saw this really cute purse.  ...

Have you ever noticed that we all have our own ways of making things work for us?  It’s one of those little things that comes to my attention periodically and reminds me that solutions are often unique to the individual and situation. As a cat lover, I belong to several Facebook groups focused on snuggly felines, and as I commented on one post this afternoon, it dawned on me that others might do this as well.   (It also dawned on me that it was Thursday, and I hadn’t yet written today’s blog!) As a “frequent mover”, I’ve developed methods for this which work in my world.   One key consideration in this is absolutely my cats (I’ll cover some others in an upcoming post now that I’ve triggered my memory on this).   Cats, as a rule, don’t like change.   In fact, they like it even less than humans do – and you’ve probably noticed that most humans cope with this poorly.   Cats are worse.   Trust me on this.   Cats also have a nasty habit of hiding...

Two years ago yesterday – on October 18 th – a kind man rescued a tiny kitten who’d been glued to a roadway.  That tiny kitten was Sticky the Kitty, and his rescuer Chuck Hawley.  This kind action spurred the Hawley family to create the Sticky the Kitty foundation, and if you haven’t seen this story and the incredible results, I would encourage you to check out their site or Facebook page .  I’m sometimes a little bit jealous of stories like this.   It’s not that I want all of the “fame” which has gone along with it – I suspect I’d be pretty uncomfortable with that.   What I envy is the opportunity.   The opportunity to see a wrong, and to right it.   To achieve that goal which is key to everything I do: to make a difference. I don’t seem to be the person who finds a taped box in the woods full of tiny puppies, or who finds a litter of kittens in a window well.   Or the person who talks someone considering suicide off a ledge … you know. ...

Maybe I had the right idea after all. When I was 18, I thought I might buy a wartime home around Yonge & Sheppard, rent out the basement as an apartment, build equity.  Take my boss up on his offer to send me to law school.  Stay single, and just connect with people as I wanted to.   Before I turned 20, I was married, and by 25 I had three children.   It seemed to just “happen” and while decisions I made were certainly a part of that process, I felt as though I was just carried along with it.  What I didn’t seem to have in my life was control over what was going on.   Things just “happened”, and I went along with it.  Why?   I’ve asked myself this question a few times, and best answer I’ve come up with is that I didn’t have strong feelings about what I wanted, and that I felt I didn’t have the right to control my own life.   Obviously, I was wrong about the latter – we all have the right to control our own life.   I just...

We hear so much about it – gratitude days, gratitude journals, gratitude pages.   It’s certainly not that I think any of this is bad.   It’s not!   Seeing and appreciating what’s around you is always good.   But please – make it real.   I worry sometimes that people simply jump on bandwagons like this to look good (ok – some, not all!) or because it’s the trendy thing.   If/when you’re expressing gratitude for something, feel it! One of the things I gave up many years ago was the proscribed giving of gifts on holidays.   I heard so many people talking about one-upping each other – or even themselves – at a holiday.   Things like “we gave Mom and Dad a dishwasher last year, we need to get them the washer/dryer this year”.   As a struggling single parent at the time, my first thought was who the heck does that?   My next was a little more selfish, and went along the lines of I’m over here and could really use some help!   One pers...

  I appreciate you.   You’re important to me.   Thanks for listening.   This seems obvious, right?   Tell the people around you that you care about them.   Tell them you appreciate them.   Let them know they matter to you. You might be looking at this thinking “seriously, they know”.     Trust me, there’s no such thing as knowing this “too well”.   In fact, as I was writing today’s blog, a friend dropped by and we exchanged some encouraging words as a good reminder of the value here. As ever, there’s a story attached.   This one goes back a number of years, and I learned some important lessons from it.   I was dating a guy – my friend’s brother.   He was a nice enough guy, and treated me pretty well. The catch, though, was that I wasn’t really what – or who – he wanted.   To be honest, he wasn’t what I really wanted either - I was still healing from another relationship.   We both knew this.   Over t...

Are you, like me, a planner?  Some people aren’t. I’m often amazed at the number of people with this mindset.   They seem entirely comfortable to go through life simply accepting – or addressing – what comes.   Is it that they don’t care?   Not entirely … I suspect the true answer is that they have a bit less of that “control” mindset. My thought process is different.   If I know something is coming, I’m almost compelled to plan for it – and not just a plan, but a contingency plan.   Sometimes there’s even a backup to the contingency plan.   It’s not that I’m paranoid about the future, but rather the opposite.  Looking towards the future and anticipating it is actually one of my greatest joys.  And for me, that planning is part of it.  Planning not only makes me feel like I’m safe and in control (though I do know that’s an illusion), it also lets me play with my own responses to the future.  I find that fun – to play the gam...

How do you take advice?  Do you enjoy it, go looking for it?  Or do you stay in “always done it this way” or “I like it so it’s right”.  Those aren’t necessarily bad things – sometimes habits are formed for very good reasons, and sometimes a right choice for one person isn’t best for another.  I consider myself incredibly blessed to be surrounded by some amazing people.  Some are clearly my mentors and advisors, and others tend to support and encourage, and don’t as obviously see the benefits I reap from their presence.  One thing always intrigues me, though.   It’s that “just my opinion, you don’t have to use it” line.   As someone who’s periodically subject to self-doubt, I know how I use this line.   It’s my way of expressing my lack of confidence in the value someone else may gain from my thoughts. It’s also a qualifier in the hope that they don’t look down on me if they choose not to use this information.  Now, if I’m volunte...